There was a time when I was continuously in financial strain and dragging everyone I loved down with me real fast. Although I was bringing in consistent income with my weekly DJ gig I had to freelance on top of that. Side jobs I took on ran the range of graphic designing event flyers, websites, building mobile apps, recording vocals, producing soundtracks, and djing for other artist performances.
I was barely earning $100 for each project but spread much too thin to focus adequately on any one thing. Sometimes at the end of the month I would be busking - singing my own music on the subway - risking arrest all because I had too little money. In hindsight I see that I was wasting energy on menial jobs when I could have been focusing on my business.
One evening my partner of 2 years just got back from traveling through Asia as a teacher and asked me if I wanted to come meet her mom and her mom’s famous, financially successful brother for dinner at their favorite chinese restaurant in uptown Manhattan.
I was tired but really hungry and wanted to leave a good impression on her family so I decided to be a “People Pleaser” instead of trusting my gut which told me I was feeling anti-social. My dinner conversation was lackluster at best and when I decided not to speak and just sink into my seat quietly the night turned for the worse.
My partner’s uncle who was seated at the head of the dinner table turned towards me and asked something along the lines of...
"What is your plan to secure your finances so you can live without distractions that take you away from your true purpose in life?"
I knew that I was following my passion, driven to work for myself and not be an employee. After 10 years of being a creative professional and my own boss I still couldn’t afford to live in New York City where I was born and raised. My heart was always in the right place but instead of focusing on business I would mostly find myself helping another artist with their work instead of focusing on my own.
I didn’t have clients. . . I had friends, lovers, and acquaintances.
Was I really my own boss? Or just feeding the momentum of this dizzying disco ball trance (at the time I worked in nightlife). I knew that all the hustle and bustle was both distracting and depleting. I went from enjoying speaking in "hyphens" about all the different hats I wore to realizing I couldn't even pay for dinner that night, nor the cab, and barely the train ride home.
The reality set in.
I was focused on many things at once — which is to say, focused on nothing at all.
The lack of clarity and control around my financial life and career had become a vicious cycle and it was leaving me broke.
When I got home that very evening I completed my last invoice and all of my true commitments to others. In a slump, I called a friend and asked for advice. He recommended I watch a free coaching video from an important business coach I would come to trust. Little by little I began to add structure around all that I had done for free and little pay all those years. The boundaries I began to create in my relationships with others where essential to my growth as well.
First off I stopped mixing business with pleasure, no longer offering my services to those that I became involved with romantically. I stopped working and going out late. Nightlife pay wasn’t worth the strain and drain I experienced the next day. Lastly, I slowed down and was able to gather all of my recorded DJ sets, original produced music and original song lyrics, taking a full inventory of my anthology of work. I let go of what was no longer serving me, and recommitted to what my product and its value truly was.
These were the first steps I took in getting out of my own way. Ultimately, I was able to overhaul my life. I went from being “driven” (by someone else’s agenda) to being grounded in my purpose and walking my walk. Establishing healthy boundaries, honoring and preserving my MOJO, and narrowing my focus to that which was truly aligned with my sense of purpose were all integral to the process.
I was able to get organized and create the LLC UNDAKOVA ENTERPRISES and fully embody that the U.niverse N.aturally D.elivers A.ll K.nowledge of V.itality A.utomatically and would inspire others to make the decision to get out of their own way and get intune with what's driving them. Through acknowledging my past mistakes and letting go of old conditioning, I was able to fully harness my power and know my worth.
I began using my voice to serve others so that they won’t have to make the same mistakes I made. Over the years, I cut a clear path towards publishing my own music and lyrics, as well as sharing my videos, blog articles and coaching programs worldwide. From this place of balance and fortitude, I can continue to help other creative radicals get recognized for their authentic expression and be seen as a leader through their creativity and anthology of work.
I had some setbacks and breakdowns along the way that really shook me to the core and quite frankly I still do have setbacks. This is my life’s work unraveling. Often I have to look in the mirror and say, Who am I to think I can design my own life and follow my passion? Often it is easier to blame other people than to be in integrity with the new standards I set for myself and my life. Through the rough patches, I continue to support agents of the divine who share a similar path and are looking for guidance.
Even when I failed - I believed in myself and got back up and tried again. Over time I built my reputation as UNDAKOVA through walking my talk and showing up even when I was scared to do so. Before long I couldn’t even say the word “cypher” before people would begin asking me how they could participate in the safe healing containers I offer correlated to the lunar cycles.
I would invite them to come as they are, and share my gifts with love supporting them in the manifestation of their word into reality using Hip Hop Freestyle swaag. Knowing they soon would become more confident in overcoming any obstacles, embodying their creative art form, balancing their chakras and manifesting masterfully using the raw power of sound and word.
After investing over 10 years learning how to focus on my one true element, I created the 5 elements of Holistic Hip Hop Yoga to help those who like me are doing way too much for too little. Interested in finding your one true element? Then check out this FREE guide:
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