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Help me OBI Wan you are my only hope.

MELTDOWN:
My stomach is crinched, my eyes are partly watery, and I have goose bumps on my arms. That moment where you think you are special but you are really just a fixture in another persons fantasy that has been running along in their mind body and soul way before you were even thought about lol. I am so silly.

Don't get me wrong I am not the victim. I am just on my twin flame bulls#$% again smh. I can only attract what I am. Knowing the whole truth helps in my evolution as I co create reality. But after this meditation the truth has surged through my mind and body in such lucid and real ways I can sense it like never before. The dreams, the thoughts . . . is the subconscious mind not just as real and able to creating our every day experiences?

When i was in meditation I saw every face of every girl I ever been with or thought about sleeping with. Because of my desire for sex that I try to keep hidden from my conscious mind but which is now blown wide open. . .and how I believe society views sex and intimacy I am still uneasy at the rate I have been able to attract lovers and move on. Just about every face came into my minds eye smh one by one. I say this because right now I am in a major upheaval of decision making process and a small part of it I actually have control over and cause in the matter. Will I create more of the same thing I have been accustomed to creating since as far as I can remember?

One of the sayings I remember from my meditation is that Vipassana is seeing the "truth as it IS not as you'd like it to be.' I asked for it and I just got SERVED!!!!!! May I be able to get out of this one unscaved and at worst just scared straight! I am shaking. Calling in compassion and love from source. #KALIiscoming #Karmaisabitch #spiritualwarriorbootcamp #thetruthwillsetyoufree #freedommaybelonely #theawakeningishappening #monksknew #jewelwhowillsaveyoursoul #meltdown

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